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[trashblaze]

[ There's cooking channel music playing in the Murmur today. It's being simulated by Caelus as he thinks about this music, missing the food channels from home.

Cue the mental view of a breakfast table: fresh-cooked eggs, by the talented Seishirou! He's wearing the worst "KISS THE CHEF" apron you've ever seen in your life.

But among the egg plates is an extremely weird one. The kind of dish that would get censored on television for being too intense. One that wouldn't be in a wholesome food program, but instead in a reality competition show that would pay someone big bucks for doing the dare.

Caelus sits on a dining table. He has the egg dish from hell. It's obvious enough what's going to happen. ]

I thought it over, and I refuse to let my fears give in! I'm taking it for the team! [ If they can confirm this, they'll have a major source of food!! ] This is also… part of the trailblaze!! Don't worry, there's a doctor right beside me.

[ Caelus stabs the horrifying egg dish and quickly shoves a bite into his mouth, wanting to get it over with before he changes his mind. Seishirou calmly smiles as he watches. ]


[ ooc note: This is confirmed by the mod, but zombie chicken eggs are perfectly safe and edible! They just look very strange. Caelus will live. This is set shortly after this thread. ]

Comments

[dethangel]

[Toki doesn't know what to expect, but that plate looks fucked. And he's gonna eat it??]

Brutal!

[There's the sound of applause, no matter the outcome. It's brutal!]

[trashblaze]

[ Don't worry, Caelus has zero expectations! If he faints, so be it!!!!

Give him a moment. He's trying to process this. He's in disbelief as he chews— ]

[closetdweller]

Are you crazy?!

[the question was a squeak- a squeak from someone who was Very Concerned about the Very Dangerous risks of both food poisoning and becoming fungus.]

A doctor can't save you if you become a mushroom! That would be gross anyway! Too gross for TV!

[This was just... Unfortunate television. ]

[trashblaze]

[ CAELUS IS CHOKING—



Kidding, it was because of a huge bite he took just now. He's still alive!! He drinks some water to push the food down.

And gives a thumbs up. (!?!?) Is his brain already affected from eating the egg…? ]

[hallowedly]

I'm a veterinarian, and I don't approve this message.

1/2

[sorte]

[ Aventurine is listening as he flips through a magazine idly although his page turning slows the longer he sees and hears until— ]

like half-murmur, half-action i guess.

[sorte]

—CAELUS NO BAD

[ good thing there's no door to bust down to the bar area because Aven is there looking like he would have smashed through it and not even realized it was there if it had been.

he didn't verify that doctor's license yet, you can't just hang out with him and eat zombie eggs?! ]

[inverseye]

[trashblaze]

[ STILL ALIVE, SAHEON. ]

You hungry? Let's share.

[jiangjun]

Have we dwindled our food supply so much that you've resorted to eating this?

[ Ah... the resident lion does eat a lot so this is technically Jing Yuan's fault isn't it? ]

The next time you are hungry, you should let me know. I'll give you my share as compensation for keeping Momo happy and well-fed.

[trashblaze]

[ GENERAL. 😭 That's too sweet!! ]

Jing Yuan! That's not it!! I just— I couldn't help it, I needed to find out for everyone's sake!

[ He's a trailblazer, this is the stuff they do to aid other planets! ]

[sculptedash]

Dude!

…I dare you to eat a chicken next.

[hallowedly]

I am not cooking the chicken next.

[trashblaze]

But! We need the chickens for more eggs!

[panzana]

[Nicola is sound asleep while all of this plays out in real time because he was out exploring the night before, but he'll see this when he wakes up in the late afternoon. They're going to have A Talk then, mister.]

[trashblaze]

[ HE'S DOING PEOPLE A FAVOR HERE, DON'T KILL HIM. 😭

This is how Caelus dies, apparently. Not from questionable life choices, but from somebody's wrath. ]

[regulate]

[ His wings flare out in irritation, a few extra ones popping out of his head, and he's glad Caelus can't actually see him right now. ]

...Caelus. What did I tell you a few days earlier?

[trashblaze]

[ HIIIIEEEEEE—!?

This… might be the most frightening that Caelus has ever felt Sunday's aura yet. His Sunday is usually so calm and soothing, and THIS IS NONE OF THAT. ]

Um…

[ Um. Does he dare answer that? He speechlessly stops eating the evil-looking egg. ]

[merged]

It's a thin line between stupidity and bravery, but, you know what? [ Here, have some clapping. If Caelus dies, he'll at least die to... subdued, mildly amused applause! ]

[trashblaze]

[ Such heartfelt support! 💕 ]

Would I eat this again? Yes!!!

[ That was totally worth it. Maybe. If he doesn't die from the egg, he'll die to his friends. ]

[markingnight]

...Did someone put you up to this?

[ Considering all the weird shit Ironeye had eaten, you would think he'd have no room to talk, and yet... ]

That doctor with you, for instance?

[hallowedly]

( The driest: )

In fact, you've mistaken the victim here.

[vocalistyodels]

[Every day he regrets being connected to the murmur. If he could toss the mask into a drain and forget about it he would.]

Lemme guess, it's an acquired taste?

[trashblaze]

[ But if he does that, everyone will miss his charming husky voice. ]

I'm not playing! It's delicious, for real! It's quite creamy!

[eidxiety]

I am not kissing that chef.

[ >:( ]

I don't even know how to cook, and I can tell that isn't right somehow. Let me know if you need a second doctor to come by and resuscitate you, I guess.

[trashblaze]

[ WAIT. ]

Oh!? You're a doctor, Ain!? You should've said that sooner! Now I know at least two.

[potentialman]

[ This is like a train wreck: you want to look away and yet you cannot.

But mostly Megumi is thinking, oh shit, now there are two of you. Please don't eat as much weird stuff as Yuji, it can only end in tears? ]

...how is it?

[trashblaze]

[ Dramatic— ]

Awful… [ then slowly smiles ] —ly good!! Ten out of ten, seriously the best food I've had since arriving here.

[ He's not coping, the honesty is spilling through the Murmur. ]

[sacral]

[ Ah. A Scene™️.

At least they're getting along. ]

[trashblaze]

[ He knows this tether very well, of course… 🌸 He radiates reassuring feelings to him, letting him know that he still feels completely okay! ]

[guidingbookworm]

[Sirius hadn't heard from Caelus since the dreamscape. It was a relief to hear his voice through the Murmur, but that relief quickly turned into panic.]

Wait Caelus don't! Are you alright?

[At least he had a doctor with him but still!]

[trashblaze]

[ It's good to see Sirius again! He can be felt smiling for his friend through the Murmur. ]

I'm still alive. Good sign, right?

[armwriostle]

[All of this is very bizarre to a man living a very fantasy French life under the ocean. There's no cooking channels nor catchy tunes. Sure, they had films, but the concept of a live channel simply doesn't exist.

Not does the horrendous apron exist in Fontaine fashion.

Well, at least this was entertaining. Even educational if one considers a man eating a dish while yelling some outlandish things before eating it. One can infer whether or not the egg dish is safe and that is surely important details.] Ah. [How else do you really respond to that?]

So how did that taste?

[trashblaze]

[ Very optimistic voice— ]

Mister! It's really, really delicious! You have to try it!!

[ He's still fine after all this time, so he's excited to spread the good word— the good food? ]

[for_sake]

... What on Earth did you get those eggs from?

( drop the location and/or strange animal-host source, caelus. )

If you haven't passed on two weeks from now, we must stockpile.

[trashblaze]

I met a cute chicken in Central Park! Maybe it has friends there.

[ The chicken was not cute at all. It looked just as horrifying as the eggs. ]

Come on, everyone has such low faith in me! I'm going to live, and eat more eggs!!