01

[trashblaze]

[ There's cooking channel music playing in the Murmur today. It's being simulated by Caelus as he thinks about this music, missing the food channels from home.

Cue the mental view of a breakfast table: fresh-cooked eggs, by the talented Seishirou! He's wearing the worst "KISS THE CHEF" apron you've ever seen in your life.

But among the egg plates is an extremely weird one. The kind of dish that would get censored on television for being too intense. One that wouldn't be in a wholesome food program, but instead in a reality competition show that would pay someone big bucks for doing the dare.

Caelus sits on a dining table. He has the egg dish from hell. It's obvious enough what's going to happen. ]

I thought it over, and I refuse to let my fears give in! I'm taking it for the team! [ If they can confirm this, they'll have a major source of food!! ] This is also… part of the trailblaze!! Don't worry, there's a doctor right beside me.

[ Caelus stabs the horrifying egg dish and quickly shoves a bite into his mouth, wanting to get it over with before he changes his mind. Seishirou calmly smiles as he watches. ]


[ ooc note: This is confirmed by the mod, but zombie chicken eggs are perfectly safe and edible! They just look very strange. Caelus will live. This is set shortly after this thread. ]

Comments

[dethangel]

[Toki doesn't know what to expect, but that plate looks fucked. And he's gonna eat it??]

Brutal!

[There's the sound of applause, no matter the outcome. It's brutal!]

[trashblaze]

[ Don't worry, Caelus has zero expectations! If he faints, so be it!!!!

Give him a moment. He's trying to process this. He's in disbelief as he chews— ]

[closetdweller]

Are you crazy?!

[the question was a squeak- a squeak from someone who was Very Concerned about the Very Dangerous risks of both food poisoning and becoming fungus.]

A doctor can't save you if you become a mushroom! That would be gross anyway! Too gross for TV!

[This was just... Unfortunate television. ]

[dethangel]

Fuck yeah!

[Don't worry, Toki's here to cheer and give support to the most brutal breakfast he's seen in a while.]

1/2

[sorte]

[ Aventurine is listening as he flips through a magazine idly although his page turning slows the longer he sees and hears until— ]

[trashblaze]

[ What a true bro!!! Caelus appreciates it!! ✨

Actually, hold up. Something is missing. Caelus gets up, then picks up some condiments from the nearby counter. Fucking hot chili sauce!!! And chili flakes!!

He sprinkles a generous amount on the infernal egg, making it look even worse than it already is. But he likes it spicy, all right? HE TAKES ANOTHER BITE. What a champ!? ]

like half-murmur, half-action i guess.

[sorte]

—CAELUS NO BAD

[ good thing there's no door to bust down to the bar area because Aven is there looking like he would have smashed through it and not even realized it was there if it had been.

he didn't verify that doctor's license yet, you can't just hang out with him and eat zombie eggs?! ]

[trashblaze]

[ CAELUS IS CHOKING—



Kidding, it was because of a huge bite he took just now. He's still alive!! He drinks some water to push the food down.

And gives a thumbs up. (!?!?) Is his brain already affected from eating the egg…? ]

[inverseye]

[closetdweller]

-- too late.

[He heaved a sigh, fully believing that the lunatic was already deceased.]

We're gonna need to drag you to the park, 'cause there's not enough dirt anywhere else to bury a body.

... Maybe we could just throw him in the river?

action!?

[trashblaze]

—WAH!?

[ The loud footsteps followed by the unexpected scream as Aventurine crashes into the bar area almost causes Caelus to drop his fork! ]

Oh! Aventurine! Do you want some, too? The other eggs aren't zombified.

[ The other plates are made from preserved eggs. Wait, why is this raccoon being so calm about this situation… ]

[trashblaze]

[ STILL ALIVE, SAHEON. ]

You hungry? Let's share.

[inverseye]

Animal trials need to be completed before we start human consumption.

[ You've got this, Caelus! ]

[hallowedly]

I'm a veterinarian, and I don't approve this message.

[closetdweller]

Ok Mr. Veterinarian.

I have wings and I'm very upset about eating all of the food in this place.

[trashblaze]

[ This kid(?)'s name was… Hanzo, wasn't it? Caelus recalls hearing it from Aventurine.

He smiles. Creepy!!

Where are you, Hanzo? At the Drawing Room? Caelus is going to find him. 👀 He's carrying the hell plate with him now. ]

[dethangel]

Oh, wowee!

[Wow, way to make it even more exciting.

Although all this does eventually lead to the question.]

So... is it good?

[closetdweller]

[From the vibes of everything- Urushihara was hiding somewhere under a table, likely in the drawing room or the bar because he has no idea where he's at or what he's doing yet.

He's a dweeb with every social disease-- and immediately starts panicking when he clocks that smile.]

Oh, shit.

[He commented when he realized what was up.]

I've gotta--

[--get out, except that he had been hiding for so long that his feet went numb.

He was going nowhere.]

[trashblaze]

[ That's funny coming from an Offering!! ]

Fungal rot from apples is fine for you, but not freshly-cooked eggs?

[inverseye]

[ Your discrimination lawsuit is in the mail. ]

My standards have risen.

[ Caelus is feeding him now, he doesn't want to eat that crap! It's like when you give your dog the nice wet food and it stops accepting kibble... ]

[hallowedly]

I'm afraid you can't avoid nourishment forever.

[closetdweller]

I'm eating stuff in the packages!

At least we know we won't turn to fungus if we eat it.

[trashblaze]

[ The raccoon is on Hanzo's tail.

Or wings, in this case. It's impossible to hide when they stand out so much. Caelus smirks as he swiftly approaches, his bright face jolting into Hanzo's view after he ducks down to find him. ]

Hanzo! Let's share!

[ It's safe, don't worry!!! Caelus is just obviously messing at this point. He attempts to shove a forkful of the egg from hell into his new friend's mouth!! (It's fucking delicious, by the way.) ]

1/2

[closetdweller]

No-no~!

[He squirmed, dismayed by how he kept getting into these situations, and made his feelings quite well known as one of the regular residents of the hotel descended upon him.]

I don't wanna be a mush-

[And his words were abruptly silenced as the eggy monstrocity was shoved into his mouth.]

[sorte]

[ coming over and begins shaking raccoon like he might drop some loot out of his pockets or something. ]

How long have you known this 'doctor'?! You can't just eat food random people make for you, especially of zombie eggs!

[ sorry not sorry he's talking about seishirou right in front of him like he's not actually there. ]